Our History
No, it's not American history. Although I've seen it called that. Usually by non-TEXANS.
I understand their confusion. Most of them just don't get it.
But we are TEXAN first.
Forever.
(I did not write this although I have annotated it. I can't find the original author to credit it.)
You know you're from Texas when...
• You measure distance in minutes.
• You can say “110 degrees” without fainting.
• The local news reporter actually fries an egg on the sidewalk.
• You say “Yes, ma’am” and “Yes, sir” to your own parents.
• You’ve ever driven 2 hours just to eat lunch, and then driven back.
• “Spring” is the grass being green for two weeks - then it’s brown...for the rest of the year.
• Directions include "down yonder".
• The rivalry between A&M and UT results in some people’s ideas of good and evil... and don’t even bring up OU.
• There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
• You see more roadkill on the highway than cars.
• The speed limit on the freeway is 70 but you are stuck behind a tractor (or john deere tractor) going 15.
• You know exactly who has been down your dirt road by the tire tracks...
• You can make a U-turn ANYWHERE you want... regardless of what the signs say.
• You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
• You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
• School gets canceled for 1/2 an inch of snow, your "snowmen" are less than 2 feet tall, and a majority of it is sand and leaves.
• You have BEEN HIT by a deer, but have yet to hit one.
• You know that roadrunners don’t say Beep Beep.
• You know the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
• Hot water comes out of both taps.
• You realize asphalt has a liquid state.
• You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.
• You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist.
• You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is – and you know better than to go “snipe hunting”.
• School is cancelled for Stock Show/Rodeo.
• You have 5 pairs of boots and they all serve different purposes.
1) Work boots
2) Rodeo boots
3) Dress boots
4) Casual boots
5) Huntin’ boots
• You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your cowboy boots.
• You shop at HEB.
• You can wear a T-Shirt one day and the temperature drop 50 degrees with ice on the ground by the next morning.
• You can drive all day and not leave the state.
• When it rains, everyone is smiling.
• The Pastor wears boots.
• Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.
• You see more Texan flags than American flags.
• You know someone who ate the 72 oz steak and got it for free.
• You prefer Whataburger to McDonalds.
• You're disappointed when a food doesn't come in spicy flavor.
• You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.
• You know people with black cars and/or leather seats are just asking for it.
• You know what Lone Star Beer is.
• Your idea of the perfect summer involves floating along in the sweltering hot July sun while your butt freezes in the cold Guadalupe for 8 hours straight!
• 45 minutes to work is the average... on a good day.
• Texas has two political leanings: Conservative and Austin
• On any given day, there's something someone's allergic to somewhere in the air.
• You know that that plural of “y’all” is “all y’all”.
• Yes, it is possible for it to be 3 A.M., 85º and 95% humidity. And then there's Houston...
• There are days when your towels won't dry.
• We have four geographical regions; how many do you have?
• It's called a bluebonnet. Leave it alone.
• Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road". Your Lexus WILL get dirty.
• You drive a pickup truck because you want to.
• You know 4 seasons - summer, hot summer, scorching hot summer and Deer Season. (Or Summer, Summer, Summer, Christmas.)
• You go to the gas station and there is a sign in the window that reads, “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service!”
• You have used/heard the term “booze cruise” when bored on a Saturday night.
• So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. It's not limited to pickups, by the way.
• A Mexican restaurant can be judged by its salsa.
• Yes, by "Mexican", we mean "Tex-Mex" -- the only version that counts. We are talking about food here and are not trying to be rude about people or their heritage/nationality.
• You eat what you catch...as long as it isn't out of the back pond.
• You've swam in a pond, creek, crick, "fishin' hole", cow trough.
• You had a tree house...or two...now that you think of it there were houses in all those trees.
• You've ridden a bull or know someone who has. They may be relatives, too.
• You've had to sit through traffic on Tuesdays and Saturdays because the sale was going on.
• You've been in the town newspaper for something other than felonies and your teachers notice.
• You didn't have cable...you had channel 4, 6, 12 and a handful of Spanish language stations..
• School was cancelled because, no lie, the entire school was sick.
• You have done one or know someone who has done one or more of the following with hot wire:
- Peed on it to verify the myth
- Grabbed hold of it
- Clothes lined yourself
- (For those of you who don't know what a hot wire is...hot wire = electric fence...and you're lucky if it's a pulse model and not constant current)
• Stay off the road - there are no speed limits.
(This one isn't actually legal!)
• The same hot wire that shocked the crap out of you will not keep the bull out of the neighbor’s pasture....that's why all the neighbor’s cows had all black claves.
• High school football is a way of life.
• You were in 4H, FFA, FCA.
• The girls have the biggest trucks.
• You can find the party Saturday night by the road with the most dust kicked up.
• You have bean and cheese tacos for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
• A funeral procession for one of your family members can take over half an hour.
• You can tell how many people live in a house by counting the trucks parked in the front yard.
JUST TO NOTE:
It's a common misconception that everything is twice as big in Texas, really, everything is 1.965 times bigger, but we round up.
It's a common misconception that we have killer bees, fire ants, gigantic roaches and mosquitoes and other awful insects, tornadoes, hurricanes, and damaging hailstorms. We tend to think of them as a few bitty bugs and a bad hair day.
It's a common misconception that everyone speaks with a Texas drawl. Y'all just don't know what y'all are talkin' about.
Finally, you are 100% Texan if you have ever heard this conversation:
“You wanna coke?”
“Yeah.”
“What kind?”
“Dr. Pepper.”
• You can say “110 degrees” without fainting.
• The local news reporter actually fries an egg on the sidewalk.
• You say “Yes, ma’am” and “Yes, sir” to your own parents.
• You’ve ever driven 2 hours just to eat lunch, and then driven back.
• “Spring” is the grass being green for two weeks - then it’s brown...for the rest of the year.
• Directions include "down yonder".
• The rivalry between A&M and UT results in some people’s ideas of good and evil... and don’t even bring up OU.
• There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
• You see more roadkill on the highway than cars.
• The speed limit on the freeway is 70 but you are stuck behind a tractor (or john deere tractor) going 15.
• You know exactly who has been down your dirt road by the tire tracks...
• You can make a U-turn ANYWHERE you want... regardless of what the signs say.
• You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
• You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
• School gets canceled for 1/2 an inch of snow, your "snowmen" are less than 2 feet tall, and a majority of it is sand and leaves.
• You have BEEN HIT by a deer, but have yet to hit one.
• You know that roadrunners don’t say Beep Beep.
• You know the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
• Hot water comes out of both taps.
• You realize asphalt has a liquid state.
• You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.
• You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist.
• You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is – and you know better than to go “snipe hunting”.
• School is cancelled for Stock Show/Rodeo.
• You have 5 pairs of boots and they all serve different purposes.
1) Work boots
2) Rodeo boots
3) Dress boots
4) Casual boots
5) Huntin’ boots
• You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your cowboy boots.
• You shop at HEB.
• You can wear a T-Shirt one day and the temperature drop 50 degrees with ice on the ground by the next morning.
• You can drive all day and not leave the state.
• When it rains, everyone is smiling.
• The Pastor wears boots.
• Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.
• You see more Texan flags than American flags.
• You know someone who ate the 72 oz steak and got it for free.
• You prefer Whataburger to McDonalds.
• You're disappointed when a food doesn't come in spicy flavor.
• You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.
• You know people with black cars and/or leather seats are just asking for it.
• You know what Lone Star Beer is.
• Your idea of the perfect summer involves floating along in the sweltering hot July sun while your butt freezes in the cold Guadalupe for 8 hours straight!
• 45 minutes to work is the average... on a good day.
• Texas has two political leanings: Conservative and Austin
• On any given day, there's something someone's allergic to somewhere in the air.
• You know that that plural of “y’all” is “all y’all”.
• Yes, it is possible for it to be 3 A.M., 85º and 95% humidity. And then there's Houston...
• There are days when your towels won't dry.
• We have four geographical regions; how many do you have?
• It's called a bluebonnet. Leave it alone.
• Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road". Your Lexus WILL get dirty.
• You drive a pickup truck because you want to.
• You know 4 seasons - summer, hot summer, scorching hot summer and Deer Season. (Or Summer, Summer, Summer, Christmas.)
• You go to the gas station and there is a sign in the window that reads, “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service!”
• You have used/heard the term “booze cruise” when bored on a Saturday night.
• So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. It's not limited to pickups, by the way.
• A Mexican restaurant can be judged by its salsa.
• Yes, by "Mexican", we mean "Tex-Mex" -- the only version that counts. We are talking about food here and are not trying to be rude about people or their heritage/nationality.
• You eat what you catch...as long as it isn't out of the back pond.
• You've swam in a pond, creek, crick, "fishin' hole", cow trough.
• You had a tree house...or two...now that you think of it there were houses in all those trees.
• You've ridden a bull or know someone who has. They may be relatives, too.
• You've had to sit through traffic on Tuesdays and Saturdays because the sale was going on.
• You've been in the town newspaper for something other than felonies and your teachers notice.
• You didn't have cable...you had channel 4, 6, 12 and a handful of Spanish language stations..
• School was cancelled because, no lie, the entire school was sick.
• You have done one or know someone who has done one or more of the following with hot wire:
- Peed on it to verify the myth
- Grabbed hold of it
- Clothes lined yourself
- (For those of you who don't know what a hot wire is...hot wire = electric fence...and you're lucky if it's a pulse model and not constant current)
• Stay off the road - there are no speed limits.
(This one isn't actually legal!)
• The same hot wire that shocked the crap out of you will not keep the bull out of the neighbor’s pasture....that's why all the neighbor’s cows had all black claves.
• High school football is a way of life.
• You were in 4H, FFA, FCA.
• The girls have the biggest trucks.
• You can find the party Saturday night by the road with the most dust kicked up.
• You have bean and cheese tacos for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
• A funeral procession for one of your family members can take over half an hour.
• You can tell how many people live in a house by counting the trucks parked in the front yard.
JUST TO NOTE:
It's a common misconception that everything is twice as big in Texas, really, everything is 1.965 times bigger, but we round up.
It's a common misconception that we have killer bees, fire ants, gigantic roaches and mosquitoes and other awful insects, tornadoes, hurricanes, and damaging hailstorms. We tend to think of them as a few bitty bugs and a bad hair day.
It's a common misconception that everyone speaks with a Texas drawl. Y'all just don't know what y'all are talkin' about.
Finally, you are 100% Texan if you have ever heard this conversation:
“You wanna coke?”
“Yeah.”
“What kind?”
“Dr. Pepper.”
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