Woof Woof! Got any cats?

Frasier here!

I see that my little sister Maggie figured out how to use this thing that the people play with so I thought that maybe I should see what it was. I don't know what the humans call it, but I think it's ok. Except that Mom spends too much time with it and not enough time petting me! I should know, when Mom is playing with this toy I can stand behind her and look out the window. I'm looking for cats. There are a couple that I see outside, but they don't want to come play with me for some reason. Can't imagine why, I like cats. They taste good! Although I could do without the fur.

Speaking of little sister Maggie, I have to say that she's a real brat. I think that most little sisters must be. She thinks that she's the important dog around here, but she does not even begin to come close to my brilliance. Especially in hunting skills! I have a number of cats to my name and a bunch of moles - all she does is dig the holes and leave me to do the hard part, namely dispatching said moles - and I am trying hard to get a squirrel. Maybe a bird, too. But Maggie thinks that I should play with her all the time, and she won't take no for an answer. She bites my feet to make me play! And she's got sharp teeth. Silly little dog, she got a bath the other day because she wasn't smart enough to figure out what was going on. She walked right up to Mom, even though all the bath stuff was out and Mom was right by the tub. I mean, how could she have missed the signs? And then she wasn't quick enough to get away when the truth finally sunk into that little pea brain of hers. She still smells funny, not like her beagle self should smell. I don't get caught too often, but I think I heard Mom talking about a bath and saying my name in the same sentence, so I'd better be watchful.

But Maggie managed to get permission to sleep on one of the beds, with her Mom no less. I can't even get on the couch without getting yelled at! I just don't understand what that short-legged dog has that I don't. I mean, I'm Frasier and she's just a long-eared little one! It's just not fair. And when my Mom was sleeping on the couch the other afternoon, she got mad at me a bunch. All I wanted to do was go see if she was ok, and I put my nose in her face. But Mom didn't like that. So then I decided that she just needed to smell my breath and she'd know that I was there, watching over her, so I exhaled in her face and she got really mad! I just don't understand people sometimes.

And then, as if that weren't enough - the humans put up another fence and put us inside of it! There's not even enough room to turn around in, and now I'm even further from the action! Talk about dirty tricks, I used to be able to come and go as I pleased. There was all this dead tree stuff that was by the fence, and I could climb it and go outside of the yard. I always came back, but for some reason the humans got unhappy and they moved the dead tree parts. Then I figured out that I could climb over the fence. So the silly humans put all this extra stuff on top of the fence and when I tried to climb it, I got stuck in it and fell back into the yard. But I figured out a couple of places where I could still get over the fence and I had a good time, there's cows out there and they leave the most delightful smelling things around for me to roll in. And I could play in the mud when it had rained. But then the people did something to the fence, I'm not exactly sure what they did but now the fence bites me when I try to go over. It doesn't have teeth or even a mouth, but it hurts so I haven't tried to go over it in a while. But Maggie and I had plenty of fun, there were lots of moles for us to catch and we made a nice attempt at decorating the yard for the humans. But now they made this smaller yard and the big two have been filling in all the holes. The same holes that we worked so hard at! It's just not fair. I think I said that before.

Mom just opened up the fence for the small area, so now we can go play in the big yard. Anybody got any cats?